They loved you, forever.

"You always realize the value of your loved ones, once they are gone." It's quite a harsh but a true and well known fact as I write today after almost 2 years in a state of losing my loved one, again.

Love is a very broad term often misunderstood with a very narrow meaning. While there are many forms of love, the one which I'm going to talk about is the one which we often take it for granted and realize it when its too late.

No wonder it is the human quality to look for love from the ones they get sparingly and always ignore the ones who always give you in abundance. It sucks, doesn't it? Well what is worse is that we value it only when we stop getting it. It was free, we never asked for it and they never demanded it. No efforts required at all as everything was served to us on a table whenever we needed it. Life was smooth and easy, right? And what is more worse is that we come across such people very rare, maybe never.

But what happened when the chips were down and we had no one for us? When those happy dear days were no longer so dear to us? They were always there, weren't they? We didn't have to say a word and they knew we needed their love more than ever.

One thing I've learned over my past 2 years of emotional hardship is to value people who love you more, than the ones you love. And let's not take the word 'love' in a narrow sense (I still wonder whether people actually realize its meaning even today).

To be very honest, the world is full of selfish people who don't even care whether you're alive or dead. Well nothing wrong in that. Everyone loves to be around you when you're happy and positive but not the other way around. Everyone wants to be in their comfort zone. And while the ones who are willing to take that extra mile for us, well we are least paying attention to them (as we're constantly searching for attention from where we're never going to get any!). I'm sure each one of us would surely have thought of our parents, grandparents, siblings, maybe some relatives and a fingerful of friends.

Life is beautiful. It really is. It is all upto you, how you embrace and respect it. Respect whatever you've and be grateful to your fortune. As we say at times, that we don't deserve these bad things but honestly at times we don't deserve the nice ones as well but still we have them with us. Cherish them, value them :)

Well as we always say, better late than never. The clock is ticking, are you ? 

4 Steps to get over your ex or someone you love

Break-ups are bad and more bad for the ones who find it difficult to overcome. Some do real quick, some take their own even (even years), some never get over while some give up. Falling in love is one of the most beautiful things that can ever happen to someone while breaking up is quite the exact opposite.
I hope these things help 

(1) Accept the fact that it's over.
The first and the most important step in getting over is acknowledging the fact that the relationship has ended and there's no point in trying to win it back and get things back to normal. Excessive unwanted texting and calling will irritate the opposite person more rather than good. Just like there's no point watering a dead plant because it is not going grow anyways even though how much you try to nurture it. This is the place where most of us are miserable. We keep that small ray of hope alive that he/she might realize their love, miss us and come back. Well unfortunately that is not going to happen. And even if it is, you just cannot simply wait like forever and keep hurting yourself.

(2) Don't be that silent detective
Well I understand it's difficult not to be curious about what they are doing, have they moved on or found someone else etc. etc. but trust me it is exactly what is needed. We have to cut out all the possible cords as we need to forget about the person as if he/she doesn't exist for us anymore. All those stalking on social media or from your mutual friends needs to stop. You don't need to block them or anything but stay away from it for a while for your own good.

(3) Be around people 
Yes we all would love to do the exact opposite. Cry under the pillow, talk less, reduce contact with people, lose interest in everything and what not! But what one needs to understand is to be distracted from thinking about him/her as whether we accept it or not, we are habituated by their presence in our lives. And losing your loved one is like losing your best friend as you share everything with them day-in-day-out and now you tend to feel all alone. Thus, it is important for us to be surrounded by our family and friends in such times. 

(4) Don't stop loving yourself
Yes we might have been terrible, done numerous wrongs, behaved bad and hurt them a lot as well but deep down we know who we are. At times it happens that we tend to portray something which we are not. Accept your mistakes so that you don't repeat them again and forgive them for the times they have hurt you as life is too short to keep grudges while not forgetting the reasons why it didn't work out. Don't keep blaming yourself because what's done is done now. After all it's time that we move on and start again afresh with more positivity. 

While all those questions might arise whether he/she was "the one"? Instead one should start saying this to themselves that "If it was meant to be, it will be and if not, there's something really exciting ahead for you in the future."
And don't worry whether you'll get another one or not, well if you managed to get one before then you shouldn't lessen your chances in the future as well :p 

Your anger is your worst enemy

Anger is something which is an outburst of emotions which may not necessarily be true but just in the heat of the moment they come out negatively. Let's make it clear here that anger and irritation are quite different. Irritation leads to bad mood and consequently we may get irritated on small-small things during such phase but yes it is not anger. While anger on the other hand occurs when our ego is hurt.

A persons ego is how he wants people to look at him and behave with him. It is a personal line that is created which if crossed, ego gets hurt. It is not bad at all. Everyone should carry some kind of self respect. Because if we lose our own self respect, how can we expect others to respect us. The problem here is not the ego but on how small grounds we are allowing it to get hurt. The more easily we allow to get it hurt, the more likely and faster we are bound to get angry.

Well getting angry is also after all not that bad. The worst thing is that when we are angry, we show the other side of our character which is not who we actually are. We behave bad, we disrespect, some get violent, take wrong decisions and what not. Any day and I say any day, a decision taken in anger is 100% wrong in life, which we are ultimately going to regret it later.

Any person who knows us well will definitely stick by us in such times because that person actually knows us and won't form a negative judgement about us so easily. These are our parents, siblings, friends(well the real ones must be still with you). But we have to remember that even our closest ones carry an ego and not every time he/she might have the energy or patience to take it.

Well though we cannot completely avoid getting angry but we can surely control it for the well-being of ourselves and the people around us. It has quite remedies which are basically of no use as we don't actually give a damn in such situations of outburst. The simple remedy to this is self control. An outburst controlled even for a moment (be it some minutes or seconds) can calm the whole situation down. It is that sudden reaction that creates all the problems. The more instantly reactive we get, more likely we bound to misinterpret things wrongly.

Our Anger is our worst enemy. It spoils everything - family ties, friendships, relationships, careers and it kills us too. As I'm reminded of the childhood quote I was taught in school , I'll only say that

" Kill Your Anger Before it Kills You !! "

It's "The Decade" of your lifetime

Life is all about achieving things. We often ask or are asked "What have you achieved in life ?"

Well there's no doubt we all aspire to do things which make us happy and content. Achievement is something which should not be taken just in the academic or professional or financial sense. Achievement is something that involves emotions and inner happiness as well.

So the topic "The Decade" which I'm taking about is for the people blooming in their early and mid 20s. Yes this the time when one is at it's peak. Freshly come out as an educated person, quite familiar with the ideology of generations of younger as well as the older lot, aspiring to work hard and of course not missing out on the fun too.

And then there comes this time when we tend to feel things not going great, goals changing, preferences changing, mindset changing, friends changing, people changing and what not!

Well this is the part and parcel of the life and this is that stage where everything looks like a puzzle as it's damn confusing! We sometimes go blank having no idea about what's going on actually. Remember how much ever we may feel that we are wasting our lives or not making the best out of it, we are constantly learning and evolving. We may not realize it now but as and when time passes we shall eventually.

A person keeps on experiencing the phases of life till he dies. There's always something new or the other. Well this is the time when we are actually learning irrespective of how we might find those things that we are occupied with it to be fruitful or not.

Work shall pass by, people shall pass by, emotions would come and go but this phase won't ever come again, so let's free our minds and enjoy the beauty of this so-called "Jawani", kyun ki yeh jawani hai sach me badi deewani !!

It's time to UNDERSTAND

We often try to change the things that we are unhappy with. Well there's nothing wrong in that as change for good is always welcomed and should be appreciated. "We humans always want all things to be always alright." Well the above sentence is quite relative because the things which we want to be alright are the ones which would indirectly make us only happy again. These things are something which we think it to be correct in our way and it would make us undoubtedly happy if someone agrees to it perfectly. And ultimately things shall be happy and problem solved !

In a way Yes ! Problem is solved, but let's think it from the opposite persons point of view. What must be going on in their mind ? What are their views ? Can we be wrong or may be can't they be correct as well ?

What I'm trying to say here is that let's not try to change things according to our comforts. This time let's try to understand the opposite person rather than making our point. This time let's just try to listen them out and be in their place. It's not necessary that they might be right , they can be pretty wrong as well. But this time let's just try to understand that person and let them understand themselves with time. Let's be patient. Time always makes people realize things. 

Life would have become pretty beautiful and peaceful if everyone understood each other. It is the misunderstandings that create problems, don't they? Everyone should have their attitude, self respect and egos but sometimes they are better if not shown. We should believe in doing our bit and rest is not in our hands.

Thus, let's not haste into things to get them in place. Well this time, let's give things time to get in place themselves! 
Yes this time let's Understand !

Seem Lost ?

So I guess it has happened to all of us where we start questioning ourselves What are you making out of our life ?

Are you happy with it ?

There might be a number of things that we want to do and perhaps the situations and circumstances are such that those things currently have to be kept aside. Yes guys we all get such "low". And this is quite normal as we have one life and yes we want to make the most out of it. Also considering the busy lives that we live where we are not even able to devote time for ourselves , it's a question to ask. 

It always comes to us. We always have a choice. Yes on one side we think of being a responsible person trying to fulfill our family expectations and make them happy, which is very mature and caring but there is always going to be some thing or the other that we will be missing out. And other side we have things which like things which make us happy , there is no wrong in going for that as well because it is practically impossible to keep on doing things which makes others happy and we not being happy at the end of the day. We have witnessed a number of famous personalities who have done that and been successful. Of course the latter one might always be risky but as it is said "no guts , no glory ". 

And here I'm in no intention to demotivate others but my simple point is that everything in life happens for a reason and it always makes us more mature than yesterday. So there might be times where we are out of answers , but time always takes it course and eventually we will find them. Yes life is a surely a complicated thing to live but it's more beautiful ahead if you remove the negativity and start dealing it very well.

We all falter, we are miserable at times , we act the worst to our loved ones (and yes you have every right to as they love you no matter what ) but there's always something more to us. We have indefinite strength and capabilities  , sometimes we just need to be reminded of that. So be patient , talk to people (yes don't get easily influenced also :p), hang out around the people who love and care for you , make out some time for yourself and you will definitely get back at life with a bang because you are " Special " and you have every right to be happy :)

Are you being yourself ?

I guess many of us have gone through this stage , some of them might be in this stage and while others are just doing fine. The situation of life that I'm talking about is the one where we all pretend to be something else than what we actually are.



No need to worry if you are in this stage as it is quite normal but matters to what extent you've taken it. The change in the behavior may be because of various reasons like to impress someone , to handle criticism , to prove something to yourself/others etc etc

So you must be thinking what's wrong in that ? Change for good is always good , isn't it ?
But the simple question we need to ask ourselves , that 
Are you happy at the end of the day ? 
Are you satisfied ?

As far as I can relate to my life , those people who love and respect me is for who I am. Yes people might have perceptions in the beginning ( We all do , don't we ? ) but that doesn't mean we are not good. We sometimes(most of the times) take feedback from the unnecessary , from those whose perception don't even matter to us but still negativity surrounds us. 

I think I've pretty much proved my point that " You should matter stuff only from those people that matter to you and NO one else.  "

Yes but that doesn't mean we should stop taking feedback from others. We always should take and welcome feedback and that too positively. Thus I like to sum it up by saying
"Always be who you are and try to highlight your positive points that your negative ones get hidden while working out towards them."